It Begins With Me!
IT STARTS WITH ME!
I hear so many of my friends and family members saying they must change themselves for..... . Guess what whatever reason you are wanting to change yourself make darn sure it lines up with God. Let me tell you this I am the worst when it comes to changing for a man, family members, acceptance, and whatever feasted my fancy. Guess what it has left me feeling alone and seeking what's wrong with me. You can get so caught up in changing yourself to please the world the word calls you a lovers of pleasure. (2 Timothy 3:3 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God;) Don't get mad or change to the next blog without hearing this I DID ALSO! Did it make me a bad person? Sure it did cause I wasn't true to who I was. Here me! I blamed women more importantly black women for the way I was. Often times I was deemed to be not black because I did't act black? Whatever that meant.My favorite one "you think you are too cute!" Thought never ran through my mind this cycle started for me at age 7 all up to age 47. That's right 40 years, 40 long years. Wait hold on you got saved at 21 and started preaching at 30 how's that?
Did you hear me it started at the age of 7; so it was a habit for me; and yet I still struggle with it today. Let me help you out; everyone in some form of passion wants to fit in somewhere. The catch phrase get in where you fit in does that ring a bell for you? Often times it is the reality of others. When I bowled I could be myself the competitive selfish side. I flowed with awe and ease, but drank to forget the pain at home only to picture the pain and anger towards the pins. Huh. 7 years old trying to be someone I wasn't nice but with a cold hard side. So yes it is sad to say that many people who were around me didn't even know me for real for real. To me I am like a strand from a sweater being pulled, sensitive and yet stands firm hugging at the right moments but can be extremely playful. Ask my children.
Every since I turned 47 I was faced with you used to do.... . Then I questioned the person I saw in the mirror WHO ARE YOU? So I had a little activity that my children and I did. We did a collage of things we like and then one for the things we want. I found I am quite different from how people see me. Now there is a bigger question HOW? I will say this I noticed that even when we allow people to dictate who we are we hold on to one thing that we love. For me wearing dresses and skirts I believed that from the age of 5 my mother told me. What are you holding true to? Build on that it is a start, yes you will stumble like a baby learning to walk but so what. Take back you!
Let's back up for a minute here if you will. For me when I have tried to change for other people but found myself still being unaccepted by my peers and some family members. Not knowing who I can turn to if I needed to talk due to their gossiping about my situation and making it out to be more than what it really was. Then when I was questioned even if I tried to explain they knew better because what someone else said; yep then you are now a liar. How many times have you been called out your name because someone didn't like the way you present yourself, talk or even walk? How about being attacked because you are a different denomination? Has that ever happened to you? How about this one you go to a family gathering and everyone seemingly gives you the evil eye or the awkward silence treatment but fake like they are glad to see you? Well if you answered yes to any of those questions just know that it is not you it is on them. Yes what people say and possibly to you does hurt but know this please don't waddle in it.
How does it begin with you? Well you have a choice to stay true to who you are and not to conform to the people in your neighborhood (not the neighborhood as in where you live but whom you call your friends and family). Look it isn't easy finding out who YOU are really if you constantly trying to please man rather than the God in you. (Ephesians 4:6 One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all). To please everyone is is to please GOD! You can not please anyone like you can please yourself by pleasing God. You can't love without loving God. Being faithful to anyone without being faithful to God. What ever you do you can't do it without God. Hold on let me let James chapter 4:10 - 17 tell you why.
10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
11 Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.
12 There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?
13 Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain:
14 Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
15 For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.
16 But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil.
17 Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.
This can often leave one with feeling alone and dismayed. How do you get back to feeling whole again? Matthew 4:4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word proceedeth out of the mouth of God. Philippians 2:5 Let this mind be in you, which is also in Christ Jesus: If you start with the basics and work yourself into finding out what else God's word says about you.Then you can forget what others are and have been saying or doing to you.